Hectic week. .

That is just the deal-i-o though. Here it is. It is Sunday. I am packing to move. Tomorrow I have to open MotoHaus and then at 2:00 me and the girls will; do Motohaus Deposit, get home, pack up as many boxes as I can fit and Bicycles, drive to Denver, pay deposit and 1st month's rent, load stuff upstairs, drive back to loveland, softball at 8pm for the last game of season, and then to Angela's for bed. Get home and pack some more. Tues, Open MotoHaus, then rent Storage unit, pack and shuffle until it is mostly gone, clean, bed. Wednesday, Open MotoHaus, More of the same. .. etc etc. .. shit. . . bring it!!

Step A. .

It is 4:57. I am about to go and do my "Separation Agreement". I am actually pretty cool right now to be honest. I have needed every ounce of this 6 months to be where I am at and I understand there will be more hard times. But life it good. This is just another step. I'll be alright, and so will me beloved babies. I love them. . . they give me strength. I will kick ass for them. . . .

struggling today. .

Today Angela turned 30. I have this thing with birthdays. I love to celebrate and not take them for granted. It is the day we were born and I think it is remarkable. I am thinking about her today and I cannot help it. It is the little things I am not prepared for that make all this difficult. My kids are spending the day with Ken and then they will all celebrate it together. Where am I? I am ready to get off of work and make myself busy. Get this day over with. . . .
My soon to be ex-father in law called today to order coffee. I don't know what to say to him. I struggle with her family and although I know they don't deserve it nor do I know why I am mad at them I cannot help it. I think it is because at some point they will have to validate her relationship with Ken and I have to picture them all together. That fucking hurts. Fucking Pride. I wish I was able to just cut that part out of me. Anyhoo. . . . those with my thoughts today.

Time in the mountains is time well spent.

Spent the weekend with great friends, old and new. I love reconnecting just as much as connecting. Cheryl and I will always have a special bond, and it was great to spend the weekend with her and her friends. Steph and I were awesome travel companions. From picking her up at T-Rex parking lot to the return drive home, we just had a wonderful time. The weather was unbelievably cooperative, and the mountain biking. . . superb. Took an epiic, 30+ mile ride on Deer Creek and had the time of my life. I really needed this trip. I missed my girls at the Fireworks display, which was yet another milestone. It moderately shattered my mood as I felt the weight of what I am dealing with, all the way in CB.
I like this picture Steph took. I look like I feel these days. Very contemplative. It was taken at the top of Cottonwood pass on the way to CB. sweet. . . . .