A vacaton from my fragile ego. .

What is it about human behavior that allows us to be envious of what other people have when really, what we have is better? I guess that is the basis for jealousy and envy? This was the week that Angela and I were to go to Spain together. The dream of every young couple with kids. Work hard and play hard. Well in the aftermath of our demise, she is off to Spain and I am here. Right? WTF? Don't worry, that is how I felt too. She leaves the relationship and then gets to go to Spain? I stay home with the kids to boot? Hah.
So what I am relearning about myself is my ability to see the greatness in my present situation. I have always been able to do this, but I think over the past years I have become more cynical, and had a bitchier attitude. Forward to this week. I had decided not to go in lieu of her dating my friend and pissing me the fuck off. =-) But I did schedule a huge motorcycle trip, one that I was really looking forward too. I friend interveined and basically told me that I needed to stay and watch the kids, and that if anyone needed to be a leader in this breakup, for the sake of the girls, it needed to be me. We'll that pissing me off for the day but then it kind of swapped gears for the better. I already scheduled myself off for the week. Angela would be gone so I wouldn't have to see her everyday. I'd have the girls all to myself, and I got to play during the day since both kids are in school. wow. It started to sound really great. and let me tell you it is. It is Thursday and I have had a great fucking week. =-) The part that was requiring me to be a pisser was my ego getting in the way. I felt slighted and was being a pussy about the whole thing.
Daddy time is really precious to me currently. I am so sick of guys saying, "wow, you are single? I am jealous!" Fuck you man, I am making the best of it, but think about what you are saying. I am going from seeing my beautiful baby girls from 7 days a week, to three. That is crushing, and I am actually a little nervous on how I will be. They are my rock in life. My anchor. I love them with all of me and they feed my very insides daily. Again. I will work hard to build this business for their future. That is my goal but really in the end of my life, I will be the guy saying, I wish I wold have spent more time with my kids. This is a tough choice. I have ten weeks till my move. Lots of Daddy time. .. . This week is a blessing in disguise. Thank you Nora for being in my face. I owe you big time for this one. . . Peace.