Saturday May 10th I told my wife goodbye. For most that doesn't mean shit. For me it was very symbolic. I realized not long before that, she had said it to me in so many different ways long ago. She was gone from me. This is the journey that takes place after something like this happens. When all that you think your life was going to be changes, when the road you had layed out for yourself goes haywire, and for those, like me who have the gumption, the journey into healing and what went wrong.
I am not one of the types to run out and get laid to make myself feel better, although it is sounding better and better everyday. Mindless sex to take the pain away. Maybe it will be just fine and maybe it won't. Who the fuck knows. I have resisted that thus far and don't necessarily plan on that road. My friends are encouraging me too. I have never had a problem in that department. Women do not scare me and I have a great gift of people. I like the cat and mouse chase that goes along with being single. Maybe closing the deal a couple of times won't be so bad. . . . it is a tough world out there though. Although I am fixed from having any more babies, I can still get stung with the STD thing. Blah. That sucks. .
I am going to take a 6 day trip on a BMW Motorcycle and try my hand at blogging my days and my thoughts. I cancelled my trip with my soon to be ex-wife as she is seeing my friend already and I am not sure I can contend with that. I thought I had the strength to try to win her back, but in the end, her decision was to move on. More on that later. . . On this trip I hope to sort my thoughts and feelings out a bit more. Time and relaxation is going to be the name of this trip. I am going to read, write and ride a lot. My journey will take me SW out of Colorado, into New Mexico and Arizona, Utah and home. Trying to get a grasp on the next stages of my life is daunting, and nothing I choose to tackle to quickly. I have a tendency to want to take action, at least that is what my big brother Oscar told me yesterday, and he is correct. That is me in a nutshell. I will ride this one a bit slower, and try to just enjoy the ability to finally get out on my motorcycle, one of the things I love the most.
The next few Blogs will be about getting myself ready for this trip. The Bike and the work that is required to make it happen. I love old Beemers. They connect to me like a long time surfer on a long board. You can truly find your soul on a BMW Airhead motorcycle. I have 5 and wish I could keep them all. Peace. Be back soon. - M
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