frustrated. .

This is a tough day. Started by bankruptcy process. I will have to come up with $4001.00 to my lawyer and $299.00 in court fees. They will take my house. They will close my business down. I will financially fucked for so long. I have already lost so much. I will not get any money back on taxes, but I have to pay the tax person $1,000.00. Fat Chance. I am feeling the need to crawl away and lay still in the dark for a long time. This year has been tough. I don't feel success on any level. I am thankful for the days and my children's health. I cannot believe after so much effort and strife I walk away with nothing but heartache. I have already plagued myself with the why-me's and I won't do that anymore. I know will head to Angela's house to start the divorce work. I am feeling really fucking selfish right now after all this. Why should I care about her or anyone else for that matter. I want to reside in my selfishness and not be bothered my anyone. I have that feeling where I want to book a flight under a false name, get off the plane somewhere and start again. Where noone knows Max Mackey, and noone cares.
I'll be 34 this month. I have nothing of value to show for it. Nothing to show for the hard work I did on the house. Nothing to show of the effort in my marriage. Heartache from my beloved business. What a waste I feel right now. I can't stand feeling this way. I just want to go home. . .