Next step. .

Confusion just the same. It is definitely a mental game. I have basically overcome this chapter of a lost marriage. Personal hard feelings are finally starting to lessen and although Angela and I have little to say to one another, we are starting to figure out our space. Heartache fades. . . .
Now for the next step. Starting again in a new town with a new life. I am moving to Denver in August and living in a tiny 811 sq. ft. condo. Gone are the days 8th st. in Loveland and the familiar neighbors. The feeling of coming home after a long trip, the sanctuary of sounds, sights and smells. It is going to be a milestone when I pull out of Loveland for the last time. I bought that house for my wife for her Birthday. It hurt when she told me I never acted with her in mind. That was our dream, and now I no longer share it. Someone else will.
What about the kids? Yesterday, I was told it was a bad idea to come over and see the girls. My heart broke again, because I wanted to hang out with them so badly. I just wanted to hug them and wrestle with them a bit. Angela told me she never felt that I loved her, and now I am scared that the girls might tell me the same? Who is to know? I just want to squeeze them and never let go. It will be bad enough to go from 7 days a week to 3/4 days. Sofia is so little. I want her to be well. I want to explain that life is still fantastic, and that love is what counts. Emma is so smart and level. I believe in the end she will be OK. God, I love them. . .
So next chapter cometh. I am excited for the future. I have family and friends and a great business. I will prevail. Denver. . . here I come baby. You'd better be ready. . . .